I have a lot of feelings today.
My husband got a job offer yesterday and he accepted.
I’ve been at this “mom life only” gig for a couple weeks now and I am feeling more and more confused about what I should be spending my time on.
I hate February.
I’m slightly overwhelmed with some assignments I have at church. Mostly because I volunteered to talk to other people about things and I don’t typically enjoy doing that so I procrastinate.
Sometimes, one little thing can trigger a minor meltdown. A text from someone that then fills my head with all kinds of unproductive, destructive, upsetting thoughts. Nothing serious, just making me less enjoyable to be around.
It’s been a long day.
About Brock’s job…
We’ve been planning for this, hoping and praying for it. But I am mourning the loss of our free lifestyle. Our way of working when we need to and playing whenever we want to.
Now we have to PTO and schedule ahead and enjoy the weekends and evenings with daddy because he will be gone all day long.
We’ll be able to pay the bills so that’s good! It’s just gonna be a weird change. It’s for sure going to be rough on the kids. They’ve already cried about it a few times.
And I know it will get better as we find our new flow. It always does.
That “mom life only” thing…
It’s still hard.
I tried to do an art challenge with a skillshare class I enjoyed. I finished 2 of 26.
The 100 day project is coming up and I want to do it (mostly because my Creative Powerhouse peer group is all doing it and I love it, but I wasn’t gonna do it and now I want to…. I’m a mess).
But I have no idea what to do. I have a ton of things I want to try and learn and practice, but nothing is saying to me, “Do this for 100 dayssss!” In fact, everything on my list tells me I would NOT be able to do it for 100 days.
And because I have no art business, I don’t have to do anything really. It’s freeing and crippling all at the same time.
Oy. I grew up in the desert. There is literally no winter there. And here, in my beautiful state of Arkansas, we have a good variety of seasons and I love that part… but the winter is as humid as the summer.
Which means it is in your bones. And it’s dreadful.
You cannot go outside and enjoy it. So I’m in here hibernating and it makes me slightly emotional. I just have to get through February and it’s only 26 more days. I can do that right?
The other things…
Church is fine. I just have to get through Valentine’s and that’s close, so that’s ok. But my Valentines this year is surprisingly crazy! We’re talking 4 days of things I have to prep for!
Like all the valentine’s for my kids.
And getting the fundraiser organized (that’s church).
And trying to do something nice for my hubby. HA! I hate Valentines. He knows it, so it’s fine.
Ok. I think I’m done blowing some steam. This blog has turned into my emotion dumping of feelings. And it’s gonna pick up here I think.
Yeah, pretty soon!
I’m gonna sort things out and find some creative enjoyment and just keep moving forward. Because that’s what I do.